I have hope

     Two days ago I realized that I wasn’t in pain.  A crazy analysis to make but you have to realize that I’ve been in constant pain for well over fifteen years.   I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and arthritis.  This illness has really been hard for me to deal with.  I have to watch how I lay my arms and my legs, the way I sleep, and the way people touch me.  I use to love getting a deep tissue massage but I can't take the pain of having one.  I also have problems with sleeping and the past week I’ve been sleeping like a baby.  I've been praying for this day for a very long time; to go to sleep and wake up rested.  You don't realize how important that is until you don't have it.

     If you have fibromyalgia then you know that the pain is constant and you feel pain all over.  This illness has affected my whole life and the way I look at that life.  Up to now I’ve had to arrange my life around my condition.  It’s hard to plan any thing because I never know how my day is going to go.  If I will get enough sleep at night, if I’ll go to sleep at all, will the meds work, is the pain going to be worst, will I have enough energy to go and do things, and how will I feel after I’ve done them.  It’s been a battle that I’ve had to fight over and over again.  It's very discouraging when you have dreams and you think you will never be able to fulfill those dreams because of some thing that you have no control over.

     I can’t believe that I’m not in pain and for the first time in a long time I feel like going to do things; hang out at the beach, go for a walk, and go shopping.  I contribute this to some over the counter drugs (mainly herbs and vitamins) that my doctor recommended.  He told me that it would take a few weeks for the medicine to take affect.  I had no real expectations.  I’ve tried so many pain pills and they all have the same result; minimize the pain but never take it completely away until now.  I feel amazing.  My energy is coming back and I’m starting to feel like my old self again.  I can’t tell you how wonderful this is because I feel like I can do the things I’ve dreamed of doing.  I have hope.  Wow!  I’m trying not to get too excited just in case things don’t work out.  I’ve had medicines that work for a little while but have side affects or they stop working as good over time.  I can’t help but to feel like maybe I can get back to doing the things I’ve dreamed of doing for some time now.  Feels like my world is opening back up again.  Thank God!