Why is love so hard?

     Why is love so hard?  What a big question to ask.  I just had a conversation with a friend, I’ll call him Dawn, and the topic was “love” and why it’s so hard to love and be loved.  Everybody craves love in one way or another even if they deny it until hell freezes over.  It’s just a natural thing.  In fact, I’ll go as far to say that it’s the most important thing in life, besides breathing of course.  Laugh out loud.                                                                                                                

     So many people obsess over it and they look for it everywhere they go; just for the chance to find it.  Everybody says that they’re in search of “the one,” this ideal person that’s fabricated in the minds of dreamers.  I love dreamers but sometimes you’re not realistic.  From one dreamer to another, you always have your heads up in the clouds.  Why is love, a simple basic need, so hard to find?  It’s a question that keeps running through my mind.  I don’t think you should have to look for it, it should come to you.  What’s a person to do then if love doesn’t come or never comes?  It’s such a sad thing to think about. What joy it brings; to 
love or to be loved!  I’ve seen where woman date over and over again, obsessively to no end just hoping for that chance to meet “the one!"                    

     You have to realize at some point that people are flawed, there are no perfect people.  I’m definitely a testament to that.  No, you didn’t think that I was perfect right?  Sorry to bust your bubble but all perfect people are dead.                                

     Now that we got that out the way, take a sigh of relief and start thinking 
about what’s important to you in a relationship; religion, financial stability, morals, having things in common, the way they look at you, the way they treat you, etc.  Then think about what you’re attracted to in the person you desire; their height, their smile, their body type, etc.  Once you know all this information about yourself because this is your personal preferences, you should then try to find a way to obtain a relationship with a person that fills most of those things.  Just one person; don’t be greedy.  You’re not always going to find someone who fits all of them but you want someone that covers your basic essential needs and then start looking at the wants.  One more thing, make sure you fill that persons needs as 
well because nobody wants a one sided relationship. 

     Stop dating the same person when the relationship is obviously going nowhere, and two years later you’re still at the same place wishing for more then you’re currently getting from that person; unless that’s what you want then carry on.  Let me tell you something, when you get those signs that this is not the right person for you or you start to question the relationship; start heading for the door because it’s a warning sign that you’re not paying attention to that alarm going off in your head.  Run!  You won’t believe how many signals, doubts or warning signs, you can miss because your desire is only to be loved.    

     I don’t think that love should be hard; I think that love should be easy.  There are so many of us that choose to be in a relationship with someone that we don’t love and aren't getting our basic needs met; spiritually and emotionally.  Instead we choose to overlook his/her big faults knowing that it’s going to drive us crazy later on down the line; maybe because of financial reasons, our position in society, our religious beliefs, or our family values, etc.                                                                            

     Being happy is a conscientious choice and you must realize the power you have over your life; so why not choose happiness?  My perception (and I may be wrong) is that it’s a matter of fear mainly the fear of being alone.  Who wants to be lonely? Hello!  This loneliness is really what feeds our bad decisions in our choice or choices for a mate.  When you find the right person you will be so amazed how fast love will grow and the crazy thing is they’re usually our total opposite.      

        Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel, say I give up, and then take a break from the search.  But next time, when you’re ready to put yourself out there again you will be armed with the information of what you’re really looking for in a mate or life partner (because relationships are really partnerships).  Hopefully you won’t keep stumbling over duds.  I so hate when that happens.    

     I would so love to hear from you and what you think about my topic (Why is love so hard) of this post.  As always I’m Lady PJ and information is power, so be informed and stay away from the duds.  Laugh out loud!