Applying for Survivor Benefits from the SSA

     I am such an information nut so from time to time I will dish out some useful information so stop by and check that out.  Today I’m going to talk about “Can a child draw social security benefits from a deceased parent?” 

     The social security administration provides survivor benefits to the children of deceased parents who have paid social security taxes.  A child can receive Social Security benefits --- but not SSI benefits --- if a parent who paid Social Security tax has died. In this case, these benefits are known as survivor benefits. To be eligible to receive survivor benefits, your child must be younger than age 18 --- 19 if she's a full-time student. If your child is older than age 18, is unmarried and has a disability, she's also eligible to receive survivor benefits. Although SSI eligibility doesn't relate to a parent's death, if your child is receiving survivor benefits and is disabled, she may also be eligible to receive SSI benefits.

     The Social Security Administration provides two types of programs that pay disability benefits and that may produce some confusion. The Social Security Disability, or SSD, program pays benefits based on an individual work record and Social Security tax payment. SSI pays disability benefits to any eligible person with low income. Because SSD benefits draw funds from Social Security taxes, taxpayers and their families are eligible to receive benefits; SSI benefits also don't relate to Social Security tax payment, so these benefits aren't transferable. Survivor benefits are simply another name for Social Security benefits that draw funds from Social Security tax and are paid only to surviving family members of deceased individuals who have paid these taxes.

     For a child to be eligible to receive survivor benefits, the deceased parent must have worked long enough and paid Social Security tax for long enough before his death. The number of years a deceased worker must have worked for his family to qualify to receive survivor benefits depends upon the age at which he dies. Young workers are required to have fewer years of work. Generally, a worker requires no more than 10 years of work for his children to qualify to receive survivor benefits.

How to apply:

1. Read the eligibility requirements to determine if the child meets the requirements. The requirements are listed on the website of the Social Security Administration (SSA) . Unmarried children age 18 and younger (or age 19, if still in school) can receive benefits, as can a child of any age who was disabled before age 22.

2. Gather the documents necessary to support an application for survivors benefits. The documents are listed at the SSA website and include proof of death, Social Security numbers for the child and the deceased worker, birth certificate of the child, and the deceased worker's most recent W-2 form or federal self-employment tax return. The documents must be submitted in original or with a certification from the issuing agency.

3. Apply for benefits in person or by telephone. Complete the application with all relevant documents. Be sure to indicate that the child is also seeking the one-time death payment, which is $255 as of 2011.

     I really hope that this information is helpful to you and if you need any additional information or to file an application make an appointment with your local Social Security Office or call them and they can do an application by phone.  Just make sure you have all the necessary documentation.

Saying Goodbye

     It’s Sunday, November 25th of 2012, and I’m sitting in a pew at Williams Funeral Home off Tobacco Road in Augusta Georgia for the funeral of my ex-husband, Calvin Jenkins.  I’m sort of numb sitting there thinking about all the good and the bad things about my ex.  I now look at all the people that attended and I’m pleasantly surprised that it’s so many people there.  I lived with this man for nine years and I could hardly recognize a face in the crowd.  I think, completely to myself of course, Calvin would be so proud to see all the people that came to mourn him; he so loving attention and all.  I could almost see him sitting in a chair by the preacher looking at every one to see who’s crying, who’s faking, and paying special attention to what every one is saying about him.  Then I felt this sadness because I thought about the fact that he would never have the chance to make things right with his family.  He would never get the chance to ask for forgiveness from those he had done wrong, not that he would of course.  I considered his children (Taneika, Lakeisha, Calvin, and Jasmine (my daughter)), and his mother (Ethel) and how they would deal with his passing.  It was all so unexpected and unreal.  It just felt so unreal.

     I had such a heavy heart going into that funeral and when I left I just felt free.  I could finally forgive him for all the hurt and all the pain because he couldn't hurt me any more.  It’s very hard to explain how I felt sitting there.  I got a little teary eyed just saying those words out loud, “I forgive you for hurting me.”  I couldn't do that while he was alive.  I now feel like I’m on this new path and hopefully those walls I had up are gone.  I am such a work in progress and I’m hoping that with time I can let go of all this unnecessary stuff that I’m holding on to.  I really believe that I just made a step in that direction.  I said goodbye to Calvin but really I was saying hello to me, to the me that was in this cage trying to sing for freedom but no-body was listening, well today that singing bird is free.

Closing A Chapter

     I'm here today at a lost for words because some thing quite unexpected happened a few days ago.  My daughter, Jasmine, was on Facebook and she saw a comment about her Dad, Calvin, being dead.  If you've been reading my blog then you know that this is my ex-husband and there's no love lost there for either of us.  She, my daughter, went to pieces and I was thrown into this unexpected place.  I've been here just thinking about all the stuff he put me through and it's crazy because I can't feel sad about his death.  I was thinking about the time he came to my apartment and threatened to kill himself in front of me because I left him, or the time he threatened to punch me in the mouth, the fight that ensued from that threat, or the time he took a part off my car so I couldn't leave, the constant harassing phone calls, the belittlement, the stalking, the lying, and the manipulation.  He use to call my friends and threatened to hurt them for helping me.  He would call my job and try to get me fired by telling them I was of low moral character; I was a thief and I had stole from my last job.  It was crazy.
     I remember telling him that he would die all alone and no body would know he was dead.  He had alienated so many people in his life including his Mother and his other kids.  Well, He died all alone and in fact no body knew he was dead for a couple of days.  What a sad way to die but he refused to change his ways.  His funeral is Sunday and my daughter wants to go.  I'm starting to think that I need to go.  There is so much hurt there and so much anger that I don't think I've ever really let go of.  I think it's time to say goodbye to this person that I trusted and believed in, who I felt betrayed me and made my life hell.  It's time to close that chapter completely.

Living with PTSD

I recently told my boyfriend about  my PTSD and I was so worried that he would think badly of me.  It really stressed me out.  When I told him he asked me what it was because he didn't know.  When you think about this illness you think about crazy people; who shoot up the post office.  But here I am, this seemingly normal person, that he knows as the woman he loves and I have this illness.  If I had never told him that I have PTSD he probably wouldn't of known.  So I tell him this and his reply is “okay.”  Just like that.  I went nights of not sleeping and he just says, “okay.”  I left it at that.  He’s my mister wonderful.

     I think the one thing that people should know is that this illness can be controlled with time, patients, self love, understanding, and education.  It took me a long time just to admit to myself that I had this illness because I didn't see it as relating to me.  I had the symptoms but I didn't want the label.  I've since learned to accept it and in turn learned to live with it.  I think the hardest part is thinking about what other people think of you.  You feel sort of cut off from the world and different.  That’s how I felt; different.  I was changed by my ordeal (being raped) and I've never quite been able to feel whole or normal then to be diagnosed with PTSD just made me feel like I was damaged, beyond repair.  That’s a hard thing to admit to yourself but that’s how I felt at the time.  I felt like I would always be broken.

     You can have a normal life with this illness.  I do have set backs but I usually get through them.  I fall some times and it’s hard to pick myself up but then I think do I want to stay here, in this depressed state, and usually that’s when the fight kicks in.  You have to know yourself and know how this illness affects you, have a plan ahead of time for those bad days, and learn to enjoy the good days.  I know when I’m going into a depressive state; so I have a plan of action already for what I’m going to do.  

     I do have good days.  I’m so grateful that I’m alive to see those because there are so many woman that were raped and didn't live to tell their stories, who will never have good days ever again.  Plus I've been fortunate enough to have some wonderful people in my life that picked me up when I couldn't pick myself up and gave me a kick in the ass when I really needed it.  I’m very grateful for them. 

     I wish I could tell you that at the end of this you will be cured of this terrible illness but no such luck.  I can tell you that  you can have better days.  You just have to take those baby steps like going for a walk outside, going to lunch with a friend, or just doing some thing that you love. 

     Music was my catalyst and it was what helped me to get out of my depression.  You would not believe it but I use to not talk to people, I didn't go shopping or to visit friends.  At one time in my life I didn't have any friends.  I went to work and back home.  At my worst I couldn't get out of bed.  Life was passing me by and I wasn't living at all.  I was hiding away, just waiting to die.  I decided that I wanted to live a good life (a happy life) and that I wanted love in my life.  My desire is what started my transformation. 

     PTSD is an illness not a death sentence; so you’re not doomed.  You can live a happy, normal life and still have this illness.  You just have to figure out what works for you in controlling your symptoms.  Just remember that you are going to have some bad days.  When you do have those bad days love yourself hard and tell yourself that it’s okay to be human.

Below is a poem I wrote about PTSD:

LIVING WITH P.T.S.D

I dated misery and for a time or two

He would comfort me

Within his Arms I sheltered the storm

To the world Outside

I was an array of calm

Hatred lingered on my lips

A sweet taste with a bitter tip

And a time or two he would slip

And Spill Out onto the ground below

Discovery frightened me

For I dared not show

The world my pain

The world my shame

The world my sorrow

I put on my best game face

A little smile, a little teeth

Wide eyed, and pink cheeks I pinched

There goes my glory

All encased within this shell

Who knows and can they see me

Here I stand.  Still living with P.T.S.D.

July 2005

My New Relationship

     Relationships are always so hard for me.  I always have this wall up because I feel like I have to protect myself.  I especially protect my heart.  Recently someone came into my life and changed all that.  His name is Thomas and he’s been my partner, my friend, and my lover.  I think partner is the most fitting word. 

     We met at an open-mic, in Mobile Alabama, a few months back.  He’s a rap artist and, well you know, I’m a neo-soul artist.  That night, I recall him standing on the stage and I was standing right by the stage checking him out.  Just casually at first.  But I thought to myself, “he’s cute.”  What I didn't know was that he was looking right at me the whole time.  He had shades on and I could not see his eyes.  Hey in my defense woman check out men all the time; we just don’t get caught unless we want to get caught.  I actually left the club while he was still on stage performing, so we didn't get to talk that night.  Plus, I wasn't really interested in starting a relationship with anyone.  He got my business card from a friend of mine and called me.  He tried to tell me who he was but I was just like "okay."  I thought he was calling for business so I put him  in this category; it’s business.  The next week, I’m at the open-mic again,  he walks up to me and I realize “it’s him.”  My cute guy.  I know! I'm so slow.  We've been talking every since.  

     We are so compatible.  Like it’s crazy how much we compliment each other.  He doesn't react to my craziness.  He makes me laugh.  He’s very loyal and protective.  He has this take charge personality that I find so appealing but he’s not overbearing.  The fact that we are both into music is such a relief because we understand how important music is to us on a personal level.   I've never met anyone quite like him.  I’m the storm and he’s the calm in the eye of the storm.  He’s not perfect.  Thank God!  He’s perfect for me.   He really makes me happy.  We've talked about getting married, and having a kid.  I’m just going with the flow right now and where ever this road takes me I’m going willingly.

    

Find the source of your unhappiness

     I was thinking about the things that have changed in my life over the years and I went back to a time when I was crazy out my mind.  No kidding.  I was a mess.  I remember driving in my car and my now ex-husband was in the passenger seat going on and on about something or another.  He was such a pessimistic person and so unhappy with himself.  He made my life miserable.  As I was driving I considered running off the road and killing him.  Seriously!  We were on a bridge, it would of worked.  Any way, he was being so degrading and I just had enough.  Thank God I realized that if I killed him that I could possibly be my own victim too; that didn't sit right with me.  I think that was my defining moment because at that moment I realized that I had to get out of that marriage.  There is no telling where I'd be if not for that epiphany.  By now you probably would of seen my story on "Snapped."  No joke.
     My point for this story is that at some point in your life you have to realize what is making you unhappy.  I was in a loveless marriage but if I got out it would of meant financial ruins.  I realized that my marriage was draining me dry and I had nothing else to give because there was nothing left.  I had to say to myself is it worth it?  Maybe you're going through a similar thing and you don't know what to do.  I had to take stock of my life and make huge decisions that could change my life forever.  Don't you think it's time you take stock of your life and figure out what's the cause of your unhappiness.  It could change your life tremendously.  It might not be your marriage, it could be your job, a friendship, an unbearable situation, a death of a loved one, or your children.  You owe it to yourself to find your joy again.
     When you realize the cause of your unhappiness then you have to decide what your next course of action is.  For me it was easy but for you it might be harder and you may have to really dig deep.  I knew what was making me unhappy and I knew what I had to do.  I chose to leave but you have to choose what's best for you.
     When I got my divorce I remember feeling so free and thankful.  It was so hard going through the divorce but when it was over, baby, I celebrated.  When you get over, rid of, or through that thing that causes you unhappiness make sure you celebrate.  I'm serious.  Have a party, even if it's for one person.  Listen.  I've had many nights of just me, candle lights, and a glass of wine.  Let me tell you, I enjoyed every moment.

Fibromyalgia and me.....

     Okay, so the weather is changing and my fibromyalgia is kicking my ass.  Really!  Everything hurts right now and I can't for the life of me get myself together.  The crazy thing is there's not much I can do about it.  I take pain pills for the pain (pills that scarcely work) and a muscle relaxer for the muscle spasms (that occur out of no where).  I can't tell you the symptoms that I have because there are so many; chronic pain being the main one, insomnia, morning stiffness, fog brain, painful menstrual period, and the list goes on.  What I can't understand is why haven't the medical field been able to understand this illness better or better yet find a cure.  I can say that there is a lot more information out there on the subject but it still doesn't explain how this illness occurs or why some people or more susceptible to this illness than others.
     I do know that some days are better than others and that I manage to have some really good days in between my bad ones. The most important thing I can tell you about this illness is that when you get to a point where every thing is overwhelming to you take a step back and get some rest.  Usually after a good days rest you can see things a little bit clearer and the pain will become more manageable.  Also, stress can really make this illness worse, so really explore stress management.

     Here is a site that I found that has some valuable information on fibromyalgis; the site is WebMD and here is the link http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/default.htm. Here are some theories about what causes fibromyalgia; http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/guide/fibromyalgia-causes.  I also found a site that has a questions and answers about fibromyalgia; here's that link:

http://www.niams.nih.gov/Health_Info/Fibromyalgia/default.asp.

     I really believe that information is power and if you have the information then it can empower you.  I really hope the links above are helpful to you in some way or another.  Much love, be informed and be empowered, Lady PJ.