New Year New Beginnings.....

      I so hope that you had an enjoyable Christmas; for some of you I know it was extremely hard just to get through.  Touch yourself and say these simple words “I made it through Christmas and I’m doing fine.”  Some times we need to pat ourselves on the back for our small achievements.  I’m a shoe person so when I've done something big or went through something I thought I couldn't get through I reward myself by going shopping for shoes (sexy shoes or boots).  I have a lot of shoes.  Laugh out loud! 

     A new year is knocking at the door and we are filled with joy because there is hope that a wonderful change will come.  We are all hopeful that next year will be our year.  I feel the same way.  Now that we've gotten through Christmas let’s just stack the decks.  What do you say?  What would it take for next year to be your year?  Take the time now to answer that simple question but make sure you write them all down then store your list in a safe place, where you will remember it, then at the end of the year see how you did.  It gives you the chance to set some goals and to dream a little.  I suggest that you don’t write things you know you will never achieve.  This is your new beginning so don’t jeopardize it by setting yourself up for failure.  At first, just try small things like going for a walk after you get off work, finding a friend you can hang out with, going to church regularly, going dancing and learning a new dance, or finding a new hobby you can do once a week.  When I think of what I would like to do I always think of the things that make me happy but this year I want to do things that I've never done before; like wind surfing. 

     I’m a pretty quiet person and I love moments of introspection by myself.  Usually when I’m in this mode I head towards water because that‘s where I have the most peace.  I grab my beach umbrella, my chair, and a good book (usually on something that I would like to learn); but that’s just me.  When I’m in Georgia with my best friend Donna Lynn, we always bring a little spirits along with us and we have some really spirited moments together watching the sunset.  Important thing, we always sober up before we head back home.   Never drive drunk!

     My advise is that you find that thing that works for you.  It’s a new year dawning and this can be a new beginning for you.  Ask yourself if you want a new beginning.  I say let’s journey on and have a little fun along the way.  I know I am; so come along and dance with me.

Happiness is a choice

     Happiness is your responsibility.  Unfortunately, there’s no pill you can take that will make you happy; although people have tried to find that happy pill.  Let me just tell you now “it does not exist.”  If you want to be happy then just be.  It’s as simple as that.  You have a choice; you can stay where you are in your current state or you can decide to be happy.  I know that it’s easier said than done but you must try. 

     I always try to find things that make me happy and I incorporate them in my life.  I love music so I surround myself with artist that share my interest and I write lyrics.  I play pool, so when I get a chance I go and shoot a little pool with friends.  I love the water and where I live there are lakes, rivers, and beaches all over that I can go to; plus there’s the city pool.  I so love to laugh so I try to watch shows that are funny, or comedies period. 

     You should try it and see if it works for you.  Make a list of things that you use to do when you was younger and then make a plan to try some of those things on your list.  Don’t just make the list and set it aside.  You have to make a conscience effort to change your life for the better and remember your goal is happiness.  Keep doing the things that you enjoy the most.

Stop Arguing With A Fool

     There was a time in my life when my ex-husband use to call me and start a fight.  He always knew what to say to get under my skin.  In essence he stole my peace and worst than that I let him.  There was this saying that goes “never argue with a fool.”  Do you know why?  Because you can’t tell which one is the fool; so true.  So what I decided to do was to ignore him.  I would let him say what he had to say and I wouldn't say a word.  It took his power away.  In fact, afterwards, he didn't know how to take me.  His harassing phone calls eventually stopped.  Most of the time when he called I didn't answer the phone and when I did talk to him it would always be brief then I would pass the phone on to our daughter.  I couldn't stop him from calling my house because we had a child together but I could control his access to me.  I realized that I was contributing to the problem.  My advice for today is Stop Arguing with a fool, just smile and keep it moving.  Eventually they will get your message.

Newtown Shooting

     We are in a war that we don’t understand.  We can’t wrap our heads around the fact that people could walk into an elementary school and shoot children dead for no apparent reason.  It defies common decency, logic, and rationality.  Yet today in Newtown Connecticut at Sandy Hook Elementary School a shooter shot and killed twenty children and six adults before turning the gun on himself.  A city mourns, our heart goes out to them; parents worst fears are realized and our heart bleeds for them.  Today our world got a little bit smaller and our safety was completely destroyed.  Now the questions ring out.  How do we fight this war when we know not our enemy?  Are we to hide away in our homes, in fear, in the belief that those walls will keep us safe?  Is there not a safe harbor; any where?  How can we answer these simple questions.  All I can do is shake my head in disbelief.

     It’s the parents job to keep his/her child safe.  As a parent, you send your child to school with no after thought because they're in school and thus they're safe.  You no longer worry about them because you know where they are and that you will see them when you get home from work.  Today in Newtown that won’t happen for some families.  Families will mourn for years for this life that ended in such a cruel and thoughtless way.  Their lives are forever changed because some one decided that his life wasn't worth living and made the selfish decision to take a few people with him.  I can not imagine their grief and I pray to God that I never have to.

     Are we to install metal detectors at the doors of every school now?  Is that what we need and will that do it?  Must we look deeper at the why’s and the how’s?  How is it that someone gets to the point that life has no meaning at all?  How can you look a small child, that wouldn't hurt a fly, in the face and shoot them dead? How can you be so cold?  What broke inside this young man that made him do this terrible deed.  Why did this happen to these children and to this town?  When will we start to value life again?
     We all watch the television and on the news from time to time we see suicide bombers that go into crowds of people and blow themselves up killing men, woman, and children.  We think to ourselves, "how crazy is that?"  We some how look down on those people because they have been fighting all their lives and we casually think, they don't know any better.  In our country, in America land of the free home of the brave, we have suicide bombers; who are killing men, woman, and children.  The question that all of us should be asking is, "what are we going to do about it?"

     Life is so very precious and it is such a blessing to be able to share your life with your family, be grateful today that you have your family in your life and that they are all safe.  Because today someone wont get that same blessing.

Tis The Season

     It's that season again; Christmas.  The trees are up and decorated, the mistletoe is hung, the lights adorn the doors, Santa is sitting in his slay on top of the roof, and the snowman guards the front lawn.  So why is it that I feel like shit.  A new year is coming in and I'm sitting here trying to sum up this year.  It just went by so fast and I feel lost trying to figure out what I did this year.   I'm not a big holiday person but I'm hoping that this season is different.    I plan to have a very merry season and party the new year in right with a bottle of wine and some Billie Holiday.  I don't want to think about what I've lost but that's what I'm thinking about.  I'm thinking about my Grandmother and my Grandfather because they wont be here this year or any other year.  I'm thinking that there wont be any more fruit cakes loaded with rum that my Grandmother made just for me.  2012 will always be the year that I lost the most important woman in my life and that is so hard to deal with.

     Today I'm hopeful that next year will be the best year yet because I will make it so.  I don't have very many things that I want, no off the cuff resolutions to proclaim.  I just want to feel with my whole heart, to embrace life, and enjoy the now.  Merry Christmas and may you have a wonderful New Year.

Communication; straw or bridge!

     Communication can be the straw that breaks the camels back or the bridge that brings two islands together.  People always talk about the difference between men and woman when it comes to communication.  Woman are always complaining that men don’t listen and men are always complaining that woman are always complaining.  Well, I had a situation with my fiance (I like that word) and it was a communication issue.  I felt like he was pulling away from me and we no longer had that connection we once shared.  So I had to figure out a way to tell him without him feeling like I was accusing him of some great wrong because I didn't want him to zone out on me.  You know Ladies; men tend to close down when it comes to personal issues in the relationship, they completely don’t want to talk about it. We as woman tend to go straight to the problem and tell them how they can fix it.  Notice I said “tell” ladies.  Not good.  So I decided to approach the situation a little differently; out of a place of love of course.  I told him how much I missed the passion we shared and the loving connection we once had.  Then I expressed my desire to share that with him again.   Let’s just say that things are back on track –our two islands have a connecting bridge- plus we avoided a situation that could of turned very ugly. 

  So if you’re fighting with your significant other find creative ways to express your discontent that aren't hostile or offensive; instead do it out of a place of love.  Going the other route could be the straw that broke the camels back and you could find yourself all alone; unless that’s what you want.  In that case, tarry on!

I Vent..

Venting:

Talking is coping mechanism that allows a person to rationalize and validate their own fears, concerns, worries, dreams, and hopes.  If we are not allowed to vent, we end up bottling up our emotions which is detrimental to the human psyche and can end up suffering from it's side effects.  Such as ulcers, depression, high blood pressure, anxiety migraines, fatigue.  The list goes on and on.  So when you find yourself in the position of being the receiver of someone's griping, moaning, or bitching, realize that not always is advice warranted but more or less you have become the outlet for someone's Physical and Psychological health.

"She was purely venting so don't take what she said personally."

     I got this definition from the Urban Dictionary on-line.  I chose this word because I am a person who vents.  It’s the craziest thing in the world but I do it to get out all the anger and the craziness.  It’s very therapeutic for me.  Most people don’t understand but it’s a must do for me.  It’s the only way I can be at peace within. 

     My biggest problem is finding an outlet for my venting.  It’s very hard to tell someone about all the crazy things you are thinking and them not take your words to heart.  Most people listen to your words and take them personally because they don’t know who you are.  When I vent I’m trying to understand; myself, the situation, others.  If you don’t know me then you might think of me in the worst light especially if you heard me vent.  It can get really messy!

     I’ve learned to vent in different ways but I’m careful who I vent to these days.  If I don’t vent all hell breaks loose and I end up going off on someone for some thing small or I walk around angry.  Trust me when I say this “no one wants to see me with pent up anger.”

     If you need to release some aggression you should try venting.  I completely recommend it.  It will save your life and maybe someone else's.  I don’t think you should vent around people though because they might not understand.  I vented to a friend and now he thinks I’m crazy.  I am a little crazy but that’s beside the point.  Just be careful who you share your crazy world with because that person might take you literally at your word.   Peace and much love to you.

Source:  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=venting