It's that season again; Christmas. The trees are up and decorated, the mistletoe is hung, the lights adorn the doors, Santa is sitting in his slay on top of the roof, and the snowman guards the front lawn. So why is it that I feel like shit. A new year is coming in and I'm sitting here trying to sum up this year. It just went by so fast and I feel lost trying to figure out what I did this year. I'm not a big holiday person but I'm hoping that this season is different. I plan to have a very merry season and party the new year in right with a bottle of wine and some Billie Holiday. I don't want to think about what I've lost but that's what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about my Grandmother and my Grandfather because they wont be here this year or any other year. I'm thinking that there wont be any more fruit cakes loaded with rum that my Grandmother made just for me. 2012 will always be the year that I lost the most important woman in my life and that is so hard to deal with.
Today I'm hopeful that next year will be the best year yet because I will make it so. I don't have very many things that I want, no off the cuff resolutions to proclaim. I just want to feel with my whole heart, to embrace life, and enjoy the now. Merry Christmas and may you have a wonderful New Year.
Today I'm hopeful that next year will be the best year yet because I will make it so. I don't have very many things that I want, no off the cuff resolutions to proclaim. I just want to feel with my whole heart, to embrace life, and enjoy the now. Merry Christmas and may you have a wonderful New Year.
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